I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I am naked and annoyed.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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