dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
