So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think I sprained my soul last night
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
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