you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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