While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
