Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
