You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We're too hungover to prance.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
