piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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