ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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