Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
