ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize