please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
