I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
