Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
