Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
