he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
