my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just high enough for therapy.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
