Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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