is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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