For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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