The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
