just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
