He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
