I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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