fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
