somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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