Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
