No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
