Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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