my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
