After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
