you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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