How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize