what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
