I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
