i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
