That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you still have your period?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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