But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
