I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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