HIV tests are more positive than that guy
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
