i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
