so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
