never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
