i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
