Taylor Swift is so right about you.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
