why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
