Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
