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i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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