Whod you bang
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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