i would punch a child for taco bell
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
