i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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