did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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