im gay
i know
yea but for you.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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