Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
