idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
