ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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